Monday, May 28, 2007

On Politics - One of the Most Lucrative Jobs in America - Part 3

The truth of the matter is that being a politician in America today is one of the best paying jobs a person could have despite their supposedly low wages compared to corporate executives.

I bet there are corporate executives in America who wish they were making $16 million a year like Giuliani.

The tragedy of all of this is not that a Republican is being discovered, tried and convicted in a news report, but that the same can and will be done to a Democrat by some other news reporter hell-bent on trying to pass off their brilliance as actual news rather than accusatory garbage.

If you do not know that the vast majority of politicians lie, cheat and steal as necessary to get elected and stay elected, you do not understand much about politics in America today. It is real difficult to practice integrity when your pants are down.

The best job most national politicians do is helping themselves get rich legally at the expense of the electorate they are supposed to be representing.

It is never too soon to vote themselves another raise, perk or benefit, or cut an out-of-sight deal to line their pockets, and it is never too late to bail out on legislation that might offend a big campaign contributor.

This is politics in America today: you buy and sell votes like a common prostitute in the red light district of your city; you try to do it legally, and if you cannot, you hope to hell that you do not get caught.

Who exactly do you suppose politicians are protecting when they will not pass legislation to protect innocent children against child predators? This is the world we live in today.

No payoff is too great to not be swept under the carpet.

It is difficult to sidestep the cow pies when your are mired in a crap field.

When something good is done for the people at large it is more likely to be done today by accident than by design. Politics and the business of politics are simply that bad.

Some politicians ignore children who are innocent victims as not even being worthy of the same rights they enjoy, and then make it a badge of liberal honor to try and rehabilitate predators who are no better than yesterday's garbage. Usually it is these same politicians who do everything in a fit of righteousness (their rightness at your expense).

Man is the only animal on the face of the earth who preys on his own species. Man is also the smartest animal on the face of the earth and the stupidest at the same time. We would rather kill each other than live in peace.

I believe Ambrose Bierce had it right when he defined politics in his Devil's Dictionary as: "Politics, n. A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage."

Bierce first published his Devil's Dictionary in 1911, a time some would consider more genteel. Today's political parties and politicians have raised lying, cheating and stealing to an art form.

When I say cheating I mean both of money and extramarital sex. Some of our married politicians at the national level are so horny they need to be romancing their secretary or an intern young enough to be their daughter or granddaughter. A few even fancy themselves as incredibly attractive Lotharios masquerading as chick magnets. They might be able to pull this off as long as their photo-opts are straight on; the side views may be problematic in print.

Bierce was an interesting guy. He was an American editorialist, journalist, short-story writer and satirist who wrote for a number of newspapers, including the San Francisco News Letter, a financial magazine founded by Frederick Marriott in the late 1850s.

Bierce was the 10th of 13 children, all of whom had names starting with the letter "A", as in Abigail, Amelia, Ann, Addison, Aurelius, Augustus, Alameda, Andrew, Albert, Ambrose, Arthur, Adelia and Aurelia. His dad's name was Marcus Aurelius Bierce.

Ambrose Bierce fought at the Battle of Shiloh on the Union side in the Civil War. He would later write about the experience. He is most remembered for his lucid, unsentimental style that created the Devil's Dictionary which offers up reinterpretations of the English language which lampoon cant and political double-talk.

Bierce was born in Ohio in 1842, grew up in Indiana, moved West to San Francisco, worked as a writer, and died in Mexico. His actual date of death is unknown, listed only as possibly 1914 (June 24, 1842-1914?). There was no question mark about his work; his writing lives on.

If you ever find a better definition of politics than the one offered up by Ambrose Bierce, you let me know, and I will buy you lunch.

(Editor's Note: This ends Part 3 of a 5-Part Series)

Copyright © 2007 Ed Bagley

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